I Don't Want To Lose You Now
by PenguinDynasty
Summary: Set after the 6th book. Harry is convinced to return to The Weasley's before leaving. Ginny is worried that he will get himself killed and will do her best to stop that. Even if it means putting herself in danger. Rated for later chapters.
1. Talk to Me

Ginny sat curled up in a chair watching Harry. He was sitting on the porch. He had gone to the Dursley's for only one day. Only long enough to get his things. He was going to go off and start doing whatever he was planning on doing but Mrs. Weasley had insisted that he stay at least till the wedding.

Ginny could see half of his face and he had a far off deadened look in his eyes. It made her want to cry, and it made her want to fix everything for him. He'd been here for 2 days now and he had barely said anything to anyone. And nothing to her, it wasn't like he was ignoring her, but whenever he looked at her the hurt look in his eyes deepened.

Cautiously Ginny went outside and sat down next to him. Despite her hardest efforts she was crying. Yet she made no sound, but the trails of tears on her cheeks were unmistakable.

Harry looked at her and then looked away. He had the look of someone who had just been stabbed in the heart by their best friend. Almost the look Ginny imagined Julius Caesar had when Brutus stabbed him.

"Harry." She whispered to him. "Please talk to me."

Harry looked at her. She looked so sad and it hurt him deeply. He knew that he caused a lot of this pain. "Ginny…" He said searching his mind for words.

Ginny lightly laid her hand on his, not acknowledging the gesture for fear he would pull away. "Please don't."

Harry looked at her. She looked so helpless. "Don't what?"

"Don't go fight him Harry. I just couldn't stand it if you were gone to. I couldn't stand it." She was crying harder now but still no sound was escaping her except when she talked. Then you could hear an incredible sadness.

"I have to do this."

"Then let me help you!"

"No."

"Why? I can do it Harry. I can help you. Don't do it alone!" She pleaded with him. She was begging and the site made Harry remember his mother. Begging for his life. He sure as hell wasn't going to let Ginny die for him. He was sure of that.

"Because then you could get hurt. You could die Ginny." He squeezed her hand trying to convey that she couldn't go to her.

"You could die Harry. Wait till the end of this year. Finish school. You'll be stronger."

"I didn't do anything this year and now Dumbledore's dead."

"That wasn't your fault!" Her face was glistening with tears. "You can't blame yourself for that. You aren't responsible for Voldemort."

"I have to stop him. It has to be me." He wished she would stop. Hearing her made it even harder for him to do what he knew he had to do. And what if Voldemort won. What if he came and killed her, and Ron and Hermione and all his friends. Harry had to kill him. It wasn't a question to him.

"The prophecy doesn't say you have to do it yourself. There's no need for you to do it yourself." She had both of his hands now and was turned sideways in the seat. "We'll all help you Harry. It'll be better. It will work."

"I can't have any of you die for me."

"Do you want to die Harry? Do you want let him win? You can't fight him yourself. He'll have people with him. Bring people with you too!" She looked into his eyes almost daring him to break her gaze. "Others will help, and even if they won't I will. I know what he's like Harry. You aren't the only one who knows what it's like. At least let me help you with the Horcruxes."

"He's killed my mum and Dad. He's killed Sirius, and now he's killed Dumbledore. I won't let him kill you too Ginny!"

"And you'll stop him by getting yourself killed? Would you have ever thought of what to do by yourself the nigh Dumbledore died!" She was almost yelling now. "You can't do it by yourself. Dumbledore said that! Let me help you! I can't loose you either!" She said subconsciously shaking at his hands now. "I can't loose you!"

And it happened quiet like the first time. Unexpected and magical. He was kissing her. Breaking his promise to himself that he wouldn't be with her. That if something happened Voldemort wouldn't know to come and hurt Ginny. Not Ginny. Yet here he was on her front porch kissing her.

There was something different with her. Something that made him want to kiss everything better. It made him romantic. The thought of something happening to her made him want to remove her from anything that could ever cause her any sadness. And his heart felt like it was physically ripping apart when he saw her crying like this. And when he kissed her the monster in his chest purred.

To soon they weren't kissing anymore. Now Harry's face was wet to, with Ginny's tears. And sadly they both knew nothing had been resolved.

"I'm going with you Harry." Ginny said reminding him of the time she had reminded him he wasn't the only one who knew what it was like to have Voldemort in your head.

"Ginny..." He said exasperated.

"I'm going with you." She said in a voice that was almost un-defy able Harry knew that attempting to argue with her tonight would be utterly useless.

So he resumed kissing her. The whole time telling himself that it was only until he had to go. Only until the wedding. And the whole time his heart was telling his brain that thinking he could end it made him a fool.

Soon enough though Mrs. Weasley was on the porch. "Apart! Apart!" Harry felt a light but firm whack on his head and looked up to see Mrs. Weasley holding a wooden spoon.

Ginny's face was almost the color of her hair. Getting caught by her mother brought up a completely reaction than getting caught by her brother.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed. Harry Ron's room. Ginny your room." Mrs. Weasley said as if there was a question as to where they should go.

"Night mom, I love you. Night Harry." Ginny said, heading up to bed.

"I think you need sleep to Harry."

"Yes ma'am. Goodnight." Harry went up to his room, the smallest smile playing on his lips despite everything.


	2. Don't Leave Me

A/N: I'm not altogether happy with this chapter. I hope you guys like it more than I do.**  
**

Harry woke up to a large feathered object in his face. He opened his eyes and removed the pillow. Slowly messy red hair came into view, topping off a tall lanky boy Harry knew as his best friend Ron.

Harry sat up throwing the pillow back. "What was that for?"

Ron caught the pillow twirling it around in his hands "You were snogging my sister on the front porch!"

Harry remembered last night. "I didn't know your mum was awake."

Ron looked at him stupidly. "Yeah, she always goes to bed when Ginny's snogging someone."

"Oh lay off." Harry said getting up and getting dressed. He looked in the mirror and ran a brush through his hair, which promptly returned to how it was.

"S'no use." Ron observed. "You think I'll bald like my dad?"

"Probably." Harry sniggered. "Tall, lanky and BALD! It's Ronald Weasley!"

"The Greatest Keeper the Wizarding World has ever seen." Ron added.

"Hmph." Harry straightened his shirt some. "Isn't Hermione coming soon?"

"Yeah in a few days. Her parents actually want to see her some this year." Ron said heading downstairs

"Makes sense. Speaking of Hermione, what's up between you two?" Harry followed Ron.

Ron turned around and looked at him. "I dunno what your talking about mate."

Harry sniggered. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Ron turned a shade of red Harry had seen him get around Fleur before. "Well um…I…you see…it's like…" He glanced at Harry as though Harry would have missed his obvious lack of an answer.

"Don't tell me you don't know." Harry shook his head. "She was all over you the last day of school."

"Crying! What was I supposed to say, Yeah Hermione, I know Dumbledore died and your really upset right now, but you want to go out sometime?"

"So you do want to date her."

Ron's cheeks were fading a bit. "Like you didn't know."

"Well yeah, but you never actually _told_ me." Harry went to the table and sat down. Everyone else had clearly already eaten. Once again he was the last one up.

"Here Harry." Mrs. Weasley said giving him a plate, but without her usual zest. She seemed distracted.

"Are you okay Mrs. Weasley?"

"What? Oh yes Harry Dear. I'm just trying to get things ready for the wedding."

"Oh." Harry said and then waited for her to leave the room wand in hand looking quiet disheveled. "So are you going to ask her?"

"Huh? Oh I don't know. She's _Hermione._" Ron sat down across from him taking a piece of bacon.

"Yes, I think that's exactly it. She's Hermione."

"I can ask her what she thinks, but I already know the answer." Ginny said sitting down and scooting her chair closer to Harry.

"How do you know?" Ron asked defensively eyeing Harry and Ginny. He couldn't say he was 100 use to his best friend and his little…his only sister.

"Because we're friends and she can't exactly tell you about who she likes." Ginny looked at him weirdly as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"She could tell me!"

"So you could tell Ron?" Ginny asking, stealing a piece of bacon for herself.

"Um, well no. I wouldn't."

"Right." Ginny nodded leaning on the table a bit. "We're going to clean up Grimwald Place. They're going to use it for the order again and apparently Kreacher hasn't been keeping it up. They're going to get a secret keeper."

"What do you mean by we're cleaning it up? Harry doesn't want to clean it up." Ron defended Harry.

"Why don't you ask Harry?" Ginny looked between the boys.

"Because I'm his best friend and he doesn't want to go to his dead godfathers house you git!"

"Could we not talk about it!" Harry demanded taking his plate to the sink.

Mr. Weasley came into the room. "Harry, as happy as I am to see you talking do you think that could you refrain from yelling?"

"Ginny's telling him he has to go clean Grimwald Place!" Ron glared at his sister.

Mr. Weasley looked between the kids. "Where'd you hear about that Ginny?" He asked now turning his full attention to his daughter.

"Fred."

"Well they're coming but you all aren't. You are staying here; Tonks is going to watch you. Molly doesn't want her helping to clean."

Harry laughed imagining the conversation about how Tonks would ruin everything.

"Why can't we go? We went last time?"

"That was last time Ginny. It's not safe. We're going to get it ready but we aren't allowing children at the head quarters this time."

"What about me?" Ron asked.

"I'm sorry son." Mr. Weasley shook his head.

"I'm not a kid! I'm of age dad!"

"Your 17 Ron. And you aren't part of the order." Mr. Weasley looked exasperated. Harry could guess he had had a rough past few days.

"Neither are Fred and George!" Ginny said looking put off.

"They can help us, Ginny. I don't need you arguing with us. Why don't you go help Fleur choose flower arrangements." He walked out.

"She should have already gotten the damn flower arrangements, like hell I'm helping her." Ginny sat down in a huff. Her and Ron started going on about the unfairness of the situation.

"He didn't even give me a chance. I asked him about joining." Harry said more to himself than anyone. But it had the effect of a loud whistle. They both stopped what they were saying and looked at him.

"Bloody hell Harry!" Ron looked at him as though he'd sprouted horns. "I know we've talked about joining but actually being part of the Order."

"You can't join the Order Harry!" Ginny stood up fear in her eyes.

"I done more than some of them have already. I've fought Voldemort already, and I have to kill him. I think that's enough to be in the Order." They both cringed.

"You have to be out of school." Ron told him still looking at him strangely but now a little fearful.

"I'm not going back to school." Harry couldn't believe Ron was still acting like he was going to go back.

"Harry you have to go back to school. You've sad us countless times, and now you're abandoning us." Ginny pleaded with him.

"I'm not abandoning you, I'm going out to fight Voldemort."

"Stop saying his name Harry!" Ginny pleaded.

"No, you all need to start saying his name! Not saying it only increases fear."

"I can't believe you're doing this. I'm going to go…look up dates for apparition tests." Ron said leaving grumpily, not wanting to get into yet another fight with Harry over this.

"Please come back Harry." Ginny pleaded not coming how childish she seemed. "Haven't we lost enough people to him. Please Harry."

"Ginny I have to do this!" Harry looked anywhere but at her. She was making him second-guess himself. He couldn't do that. He knew he shouldn't have come to The Burrow. "I'm going for a walk!"

"Not by yourself you aren't." Ginny's old demeanor came back to her as she stepped in front of him.

"I need to think." He tried to go around her.

"All this talk about You-Know-Who and you think I'm letting you go out by yourself."

"Maybe I don't know who Ginny." He pushed her, annoyed.

"_Voldemort."_ She said the word as if it caused her actual pain. "Your staying here if I have to put a binding spell on you."

"Fine then I'm going to my room."

"And I'm coming with you. You think I don't know you Harry? I don't know that you plan on leaving? I can see it in your eyes. I'm not letting you leave." She was strong until the last sentence. When she said she wasn't letting him leave Harry could hear the terror in her voice.

"Fine!" He agreed going to him room and sitting on the bed.


	3. First Time For Everything

**A/N: Sorry that it took so frikkin long. I didn't have any inspiration for a while and I don't like giving you crap. And then I got inspiration and people were always over. But here it is.**

Harry awoke to the sound of Hedwig and rolled over, eyes still closed. He felt his hand hit something warm and hard. He opened his eyes suddenly and was shocked for a second to see Ginny asleep. They must have fallen asleep last night.

"Gin? Ginny." He shook her a bit trying to wake her up but she kept sleeping. She looked so peaceful that Harry almost didn't want to wake her up. But he would rather wake her up than not wake her up and have to deal with Mr. Weasley. He shook her a bit harder. "Ginny you have to wake up."

Slowly she opened her eyes. "Harry?" She asked as he came into view. Her eyes focused on the room around her. "Shit! Did anyone see us?"

"I don't think so." Harry said. "But you have to go."

"It doesn't matter now. I'm awake, I'm allowed to be in here." She rubbed at her eyes and yawned. "It's early."

"I know." Harry told her stretching.

"Your not going to leave are you?" She asked looking at him, the same fear from last night rising her in eyes as she remembered the scene that had taken place last night.

"I guess not." He sighed not meeting her eyes.

"It's going to turn out okay." She told him gently. Timidly she moved closer to him cuddling up against him.

Harry wrapped his arms around her. "You know it's not going to be okay Ginny. We both do." He was amazed at how good she smelled even now.

"I have to believe that, at least for right now." She traced her finger over his chest. "I'm going to go change and clean up a bit and then I'll meet you back in here."

"Do you think meeting back in here is the best idea?"

"It can't be later than 5 a.m. If I go downstairs I'm going to be hungry. I can't use magic outside of school so I'll have to make noise to fix breakfast. That'll wake mum up and then she'll be pissed. So yeah I do." She teased getting up.

Harry watched her leave and then went and washed his face and brushed his teeth. He even put a bit of cologne on for good measure. Then he went back to his room and changed. He realized that he needed to laundry and smelled his shirts to see which one to wear. Ginny knocked on the door.

"Harry?" She asked quietly.

"Come in." He told her trying to decide between his Weird Sisters shirt and his green Weasley Wizard Wheezes shirt.

Ginny came in. "What are you doing?" She looked at him funny.

"I don't have any clean shirts."

"I'll fix it but you can't tell." She smiled at him picking up a purple shirt with the logo and name for another band "Phoenix Tears" on it. "It's my favorite band." She explained.

"Oh, I won't tell." He said sitting on his bed and watching her.

She took her want out of her back pocket and said a spell Harry hadn't heard of. Not only was it clean it took out a whole that he had gotten it from Quidditch practice.

Harry looked at Ginny in her rather tight jeans and her red Chaser shirt and thought of how much she'd changed since he'd first seen her at the train station. She'd been running after the train, he never would have thought his world was just possibly, slowly growing to revolve around her.

She sat down on his bed and melodramatically fell backwards. "It is much to early to be up."

Harry sat down. "Well you fell asleep in here."

Ginny quickly propped herself up on her elbows. "Because you were threatening to run away."

"Regardless you fell asleep in here."

Ginny rolled her eyes and fell back down onto the bed. "This bed is more comfortable than mine. That is so beyond not fair. Why would the twins have had more comfortable beds?"

Harry shrugged and went and let Hedwig out and then went and lay down also. It was awfully early. Ginny snuggled up next to him. "Your toes are like ice Ginny."

"It's cold." She said pushing up part of his pants with her feet so she could put her toes on him.

"It's not cold." He pulled his leg away.

"Well I think it is." She pulled him closer. "Harry…" She grinned flirtingly and kissed him. Slowly she pushed her toes up on his leg.

"Ginny!"

"What?" He smiled at him biting her lower lip.

"Stop. It's cold!" He laughed wiggling away from her.

She laughed grabbing at him. "But your warm." She moved so she was pinning him down.

Harry rolled over. "I'd like to stay that way."

Ginny wrapped her legs around him pulling him down. "It's so nice of you to lay here with me and keep me warm." She teased him pulling herself out from underneath him just a little.

"It's not like I have a choice on the matter."

"You should want to."

"I can't think of a single reason why I'd want to sit here and be frozen to death by your toes."

"Cause I'm your girlfriend and I have incredibly cute toes?"

Harry started wiggling away again and Ginny held onto him. "They are going to find my frozen body. It'll be tragic really, 'Boy Who Lived Dies From Cold Toes' you'll get charged with murder." He sat up on the bed Indian style.

Ginny sat on him unceremoniously straddling him. "Some big tough guy you are Harry." She kissed him but pulled away as she erupted into a fit of giggles. She fell back onto the bed. Harry would never in all his life understand girls.

"What is wrong with you?" He laid down on his stomach watching her.

"I have no idea." She said between giggles, calming down some. She took a few deep breaths. "Lets try again."

"Try what?"

"We're starting over. Come here." She pulled him closer onto of her. "Because I'm your girlfriend with incredibly cute toes?"

"Yes you and your toes are incredibly cute." He pushed a strand of stray hair out of her eyes.

"You betcha." She smiled and kissed him deeply, pulling him closer, as the kiss got a bit rougher.

Harry pulled away a bit. "So all I have to do is compliment your toes and I get kissed like that? Because I've noticed lately that you have the most gorgeous, perfectly shaped, incredible toes I've ever seen, in my entire life."

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes kissing him again; she wrapped her arms around him. Her feet crept up and down his legs again but she wasn't warming her toes this time. After a bit she slid her hands under his shirt.

Harry pulled away a bit breathless. "Ginny…I don't…." He looked at her. "I mean…"

Ginny nodded. "Yeah, I know they're there Harry." She looked at him as if deciding something. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to be my first." She bit her lip and looked at him.

Harry looked at her as though waiting for her to say just kidding or something to happen. She had to be kidding. But it seemed like she wasn't. He started to say 'Really?' but stopped himself. "I'd like that, and for you to be mine." He said after thought. It seemed the right thing to say.

Ginny smiled. "Good."

"Very." Harry smiled, "But not now."

Ginny shook her head. "No not now. But we can kiss now." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Yes we can." He kissed her.


End file.
